battle???

salam alaik heh .. meet with u guys again =) There'r so many battle in our life! exm, love, politic and so on lah . all of that are battle but just in different form and flavour. uh?? rite? but foe me, (when i realized after finished read VERSUS by Hlovate), the most hardest battle is when we are against ourselves at some point. Yeah.

 At point, we have to roll with our own feelings. Choatic! From VERSUS, we could feel that it was quite painful to left everything behind even all those things were already keep stored well in our own blood, soul and even bones!! it's hard lah! the book was about " CHANGE" !! lORH.. cam barack obama la plak. heh change ourselves about 180 degree. From red.fm to ikim.fm (that's me), from the red jumpsuit apparatus and hey monday to UNIC, from indie to nasyid, From BEAST TO nasyid!!! Well, it was really hard!

BUT FOR my case! i already raised by my parents with implemented strictly in my home for me and the rest of my 6 adeks! heh. I already be trained to wear tdg labuh bk kta chekgu ak dlu tudung parachute hahah.. since i went to PASTI . Eventually, i feel used to wear those tdg. I wear it as i already used to be with it and sadly ak lom rse lg pki sebab hakiki because of Allah!! Somehow, i tried to wear tdg bwl but for me it was still labuh even i knew that my parents did not like it! They seemed do not pleased wif those tdg.

That was dilemma on myself. I was interposed between 'what i want' and 'what they order'!! Even now i got confused actually what meant by 'what i want'. got it?? look! who want to give me free of charge consultation? before i read versus, im quite determined that i have to prove to them that Islam just asked women to cover all of their aurat well.

So, it was up to us to wear tdg labuh or not as long as it cover our chest and so on.... But, it just was 'was'!! My past opinion changed until i read this statement. Al-Baqarah ayat 208 We could roughly translated that Allah asked us to fully embrace the ISLAM. nOT really we are only have to ensure perform the solat. it's more than that! The book really realized how much Islam values are still existed in ourselves... is that just enough with solat??? right? even certain people or even me, fail to perform the solat. we dun give the rights to Allah as His servants. even Allah give us everything as Allah knows that we got nothing, we are just His servants! right

People always debate about human rights, environments rights and so many rights lah... but majority of us forget about Allah's right!! right? heh doe... so many rights lah. bikin pening lalat je. huuu. the battle is just not over! my battle to be specified. i feel very torn apart aside when i was chosen to be one of the BADAR members. BADAR is a islamic board at my former school. badan dakwah dan rohani. I was the lajnah surau before this.

Could you guys imagine how a girl (who bajet tdg labuh but inside her souls ... ntahpape lagi) and become dai'ie? memang haru!! i got to roll with my owm feelings. Sometimes,, ak rse cm munafik je.. hailohh... tu yg benar sebnrnya. But some time, i could feel very enthusiastic to dakwah. And it's really reached at peak, when i becamed naqibah for my usrah. when i was in form4.

 form4 year is the year that i feel the islam, year that i love islam at all my heart, year that i started to learn islam, also the year of dakwah!! look! i have to struggle for my pengislahan diri and simultenously, to people. to be specified, my friends and those juniors.. bknnye ak dak sekolah ag pn.... sekolah ak dlu sblom msok KUPSIS cm 2x5 je ngan henry gurney. satu league la tu.. cme bwh cket je dri henry gurney. heh.. sempat lg. ntah la on what i concluded here.

But one for sure, i have my own goals!! perfection to be a Muslimah is quite imposibble but endeavours to be a better mUslimah tu yg matters!! heh rightio?? my ummi also talked to me ' why don't we put a proper standar, an indicators line in our manners - she meant cara bertudung la tu. reverse-pschocology kt ak la tuu... heh . speechless! ummi kalo ckp mengalahkan aristotle ngn socrates. chekgu la katakan almost 25 years. tabik spring abhis la n plus spring tu pnye stiffness hehhe..

May Allah blessed her. whatever it is, i thankful to Allah. Alhamdulillah. He gave His Hidayah to me b4 i die! nothings late b4 die! but it's better to never late. somethings is better than nothing. tu yg ak pgg. i was quite interested with this quoate fron VERSUS.... perfection is imposibble as there are always room for improvement. waalaikumussalam =)

07012012 : 4.00PM

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